the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
