..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
