my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
