Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
