69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
