Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
