Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
