Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
