I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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