his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
