I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
