Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
