16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
