I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
