woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
