I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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