Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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