we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
