The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
