? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
