You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
