Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i think i just lost a toe
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
