may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
