hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
