Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
