Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
