THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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