i think i have herpe
just one?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
