I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
