Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
