someone threw a dead crab at me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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