if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
