Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Randomize
