eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He passed out mid-signature
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
