You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
