I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
