"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
