I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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