I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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