Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
