The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
