the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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