Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.

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(516): View more from New York

Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night

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(480): View more from Arizona

Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving

(301): View more from Maryland

He didn't think we needed a taxi

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(870): View more from Arkansas

There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood

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(307): View more from Wyoming

yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine

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(907): View more from Alaska

He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!

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