i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
