do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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