Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want nice things and good sex
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
