Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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