I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
