But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
is wine microwaveable?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
