I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
